Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Loose Bowels


It started off ordinary-
You and me, united for such a cause as this
“Love thing”
You would rub my back and I would stroke your neck-
Gently now, still gently-
Both done to calm aching nerves
So the general idea was when one of us was down,
The other one would be there to pull whomever up-
Gently now, still gently-
But there was you, with your “machismo” attitude
(Though you ain’t a bit Latino)
And your God given male pride that told you
‘You could do it on your own, stand on your own”
And somehow, expected me to do the same
And then, there was me, with my naïve heart
And eyes that try to see the good,
Even when the “not so good” is most apparent
Me, I believed that my love was somewhat worthy of reciprocation, appreciation,
And sometimes, validation
That was until I learned of your “loose bowels” syndrome
Where I became your porcelain throne to sit on
Cool you down when you’re burnin’ up
See, I was your Preparation H even when you were the pain in my behind
But how I allowed it, and approached it-
Gently now, still gently-
Allowing you to come into my space, my sanctuary,
And stink it up
With not so much thought as to even spray any air freshener to diminish the scent
You, with your loose bowels- comin’ up into my house-
Never asking, just entering, doing as you pleased, and creeping out
Like I wouldn’t notice it
Leaving with me all of your sh*t to smell and clean up
While I was busy playing “Alice” and “Dr. Phil” simultaneously
Cleaning up your sh*t and making sure you were okay
I just prayed your loose bowels weren’t catching
Because I couldn’t handle piling that much sh*t on one person alone to handle
Because I knew that you would no longer be there to rub my back
Or ask if I needed anything
I knew that ship had sailed, that hope was over
And you had the nerve to ask me how?
Well, my friend- I saw you flush your sh*t, along with my heart, down the toilet.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Love Song

I fell in love with the rhythm. Made love to the rhyme.

I was forever his, and he-forever mine.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wide Asleep

This is me- at night
Searching for the burning light
With hopes of gaining sight
Though I'm blinded by wrong's & right's
Toss and turn in my sleep
This is me- counting sheep
Close my eyes, yet shadows creep
Strangled by my thoughts too deep

Monday, November 8, 2010

Subliminal Invisible


Looked into the mirror
And almost didn't see myself
Swear you walked right through me...
Screamed! Yelled!
At the top of my lungs
From the highest mountain peak
My voice did not echo.
Tried to touch you
Seemed like you couldn't feel me
No one bothers to speak any longer
Not a 'good morning' or a 'thank you'
Running around like a chicken with no head
Drowning in a sea of frustration
Walking in a crowd that does not notice me
Cries go out to the wind
Giving away so much much of myself
That I've lost myself
Almost invisible now
Going... Going...
g-o-n-e.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Inside Out


Inside Out.
Peel back the layers, and it gets rougher.
Peel back more, it gets tougher.
Under laughter, there is pain,
Under sunshine, there is rain.
Like a bud without a sprout,
Peel me from the inside out.

Marching Band

This is what it feels like when you want someone to love you, and show you, and mean it, and show you again because I can't breathe, and my heart's beating to the tune of OutKast's "Marching Band" and even though the song is hot, I know it doesn't fit my feeling, especially when half of the time I feel like crying and my mind is no longer at ease, and when I look for you, you're not there because you're not here- not even physically anymore. And I miss you. But I'm not sure who the "I miss you" was just intended for...

Purge Session

Today was a rough one. Even the atmosphere was set perfectly for the sheet of dark uneasiness that was to follow. Dreary was my heart all last night. Perhaps it explains the unexplained tears from last night, as I lay alone in the darkness of my bedroom, praying for God to strengthen me in my time of weakness. And I was made stronger. Not quite delivered, but patched up. And then, there was today; the day I learned what “murdered’ felt like for those related. It sends your head up into a spin at the first sound. It feels like you’re in one of those twilight zones, where everything is surreal. Then it moves to your heart. My heart began to pound as if I’d just run a 5k and my breath was lost somewhere around 2k. And before you know it, your eyes begin to water before your brain can even remember why. Then you ask yourself, “Why? Is this real? I must be dreaming.”
So you pinch yourself to determine your sanity and to clarify nightmare from reality. But after the sting, you find that reality has become your nightmare, and there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s what “murder” does to you. And now, it’s stuck in my mind like the bullet through his head. And the sad part is, I never even knew him. But I know her, and it hurts to see her like that.