Happiness, Interrupted

I’ve been waiting on this moment for such a long time. I know that it’s here because that anxious, tightness in my belly, heart racing, mind stumbling sensation has escaped me. I feel like I can finally just enjoy this feeling of pure, enticing, boundless happiness. Boundless happiness… It’s the adjective in that statement that scares me, and I wonder if there is such a thing as “boundless” anything. Wouldn’t it be swell to have an infinite, limitless level of happiness that was never deterred or predetermined by some force, whether internal or external? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see every obstacle as a challenge or test of your happiness? If there was such a thing as ‘boundless happiness,’ what would it mean, and how would one achieve it? I think about children when I run that phrase through my mind because children are untainted, optimistic, naïve, and dare I say, ignorant to many facets of hurt, pain, fear, and hatred. Only a child can love with the same intensity that they hated moments earlier. And a child’s happiness is simple. A smiley face sticker or an ice cream cone can send them into a state of boundless happiness. But we, as adults, allow our happiness to become interrupted by trivial, insignificant people and situations that play only a minuscule part in the large scope of our lives. We turn what should be boundless into temporary and transient moments that last much longer than they should. Why do the angry, fearful, avoidant moments last so much longer than the happy ones? I can’t speak for others, but when I think of my life, I’d like to be able to measure my boundless moments far greater than my limited ones. And although I’m sure that this moment I’m living in right now will soon fade away (because I am also of the flesh), I am going to enjoy every boundless second of it. Join me…